I shifted nervously in my seat as the man sitting across the desk separating us looked at me with a serious expression on his face. “You need to go on a restricted diet,” he told me. “This means no caffeine, processed foods or sugar, red meat, dairy… and no gluten, either.”
“No… gluten?” I said weakly.
“Nope,” replied my naturopath.
“Oh, OK” I managed to say, but in my mind I was screaming, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!”
If this was a sitcom, the camera would now zoom out to a bird’s eye view of the city, then a satellite view of the country and finally into space looking down at Earth as my anguished cry echoed around the globe.
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